A is for Acne
You’ve got your old pals Maybelline and Revlon to help banish that blemish to concealer heaven. What do we have? Some Clearasil and a prayer. And unfortunately, “help boy with breakout on big night” doesn’t exactly top God’s to-do list. So, be a hero. Bust out the compact. He may protest at first, but he’ll be grateful when the pictures come back.

B is for Breath
The simple truth: We want to make out with you. This fact can cause us to go to great lengths to ensure our kisses are sweet—like blowing through a whole tin of ¬Altoids on the ride over to your house and, as a result, spending the next week sweating out pure peppermint.

C is for Cool
As a gender, guys lack eloquence. So while you hear us saying “That dress is pretty cool,” what we actually mean to say is “Wow, you look gorgeous.”

D is for Dancing
There are two kinds of guys at prom: Those who think they’re Justin Timberlake out on the dance floor and those who stay glued to their chair for fear of looking like they think they’re Justin Timberlake out on the dance floor. The good news: We’re both here for the slow dances. Even Shy Guy is counting the minutes till the DJ spins something that gives him total ¬legal permission to put his hands around your rockin’ bod.

E is for Extreme Makeover
We totally appreciate that you dress to the nines for us, but we’d like to be able to recognize the girl who answers the door. So refrain from extreme hair-d¬os or fussy prom ensembles—especially if they keep you from letting loose.

F is for Flowers
As sweet as it may seem to have your guy pin the corsage on you, chances are he’s never done it before. Unless you’re hoping for a brand-new body piercing, you might want to pin it on yourself.

G is for Gangsta Pose
He wraps himself in a tux and suddenly thinks he’s P. Diddy. This phenomenon typically manifests itself in ridiculous poses every time the lens of a camera comes within six feet of him. You can ask him to quit it. But here’s a better strategy: Bring a lot of film. After about the fiftieth picture, it’ll start to bore even him.

H is for Hairgel
When applied correctly it turns Disheveled Dude into Dashing Prom Date. Unfortunately, we are unaccustomed to spending more than 60 seconds getting dressed and tend to overdo it for special events.

I is for the "Incredible Sulk"
We’re not saying you have to be thrilled, but should you suffer a prom trauma (i.e., another girl arrives wearing the very same gorgeous dress as you), don’t let it bum you out for the rest of the night. We want to have fun with you. Besides, here’s a little secret, the thought of you moping over some mishap scares the tux pants off of us. See M for further clarification.

J is for James Bond
Put your date in a room with his buds and count the seconds before they blurt out lines like, “The name is Bond. James Bond.” Cliché? Yes. Immature? Perhaps. But unless they’re the dudes from Newport Beach, this is likely their first time in a tux. And they’re digging their bad selves. Throwing around cornball lines is just an acceptable way for us to compliment one another—without looking like weenies.

K is for KISS. Duh!

L is for Limo
“Hey, look! A moon roof! A mini TV! A bar stocked with Coke!” You may be able to contain your excitement, but we lose our cool the minute we step into the limo and have to try everything—like raising and lowering the partition at least 12 times.

M is for Mission Impossible
Your date will positively, absolutely, without a doubt mess something up during the evening. It can be anything from forgetting to put on his bow tie to forgetting to order your corsage to accidentally setting the limo on fire. You’re not only the fairer sex, you’re also the smarter sex. Watch a bunch of guys amuse themselves by punching each ¬other in the arm if you don’t believe me.

N is for Night Sweats
A biological response triggered by stressful prom situations, including but not limited to: late limo, exorbitant dinner bill and the good-night kiss.

O is for Ogle
If you’re wondering what this word means, grab yourself a dictionary, or just watch the way his jaw drops and his eyeballs shoot out of his head the first time he sees you.

P is for Panic
Sure, he’s playing it all cool when he arrives at your door, but if you could sneak a peek into your date’s bedroom an hour before, you’d see a pathetic mess of a man doing battle with a cummerbund he has somehow strapped around his neck.

Q is for Quiz
Not the kind your math teacher passes out on Friday mornings. The kind your father springs on us while we’re waiting for you in the living room. Most guys will freeze up under this line of questioning, afraid of leaving your dad to believe that his “little girl” is going out with a complete idiot.

R is for Razor Burn
Yes, the bleeding boy at the door with toilet paper stuck to his face did get in a fight with a knife-wielding maniac. And that maniac was himself. You see, whether we need it or not, we’ll bust out the Mach-3 on prom night, even if only to remove the tiniest hint of peach fuzz from our upper lip.

S is for Sex
We know we’ve got zero chance in hell of actually getting some on the big night. But we’re guys... and you’re a girl... and remember American Pie?... Oh, never mind. Forget we ever mentioned it.

T is for Tux
This whole tux business is foreign to us. And when faced with all the enticing accoutrements, we can easily lose control. Picture: your date with top hat, tails, cape, cane and, hell, maybe even a sword.

U is for Ugly
That’s what your guy is going to feel like if you don’t toss him a compliment when he picks you up. News flash: Guys are hopelessly vain—times five on prom night.

V is for Very
As in he is very excited to be your date and very terrified that your parents will end his young life should any “funny business” occur during the course of this glorious evening.

W is for Wardrobe Malfunction
The tie, cufflinks, cummerbund. With all this new paraphernalia to manage, we’re sure to forget something—like securing our zipper.

X is for XBox
Want to see your date go berserk? Rent a limo with one of these babies. Then, get in the way of the TV screen—for even a second!

Y is for Your Friends
Don’t get us wrong; we love your friends (well, the ones who laugh at our dumb jokes, at least). But we want to go to prom with you, not you and Jennifer and Katie and Sarah and Julie and…

Z is for Zilch
That’s how much your shoes, dress and hairstyle have to do with making prom an awesome night. It’s getting to spend it with... you.